Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Did she really loved me....? Part-3


The desperate move


   I missed her three times today, now I can’t afford to miss any of her. I was getting more and more and desperate, don’t know for what but, I didn’t allow my mind to give a second thought to what I was about to do. The vivid observer, the firm believer of love at first was not allowing me to think anything further precautiously. I was in a hurry to express. I was exhausted after running that distance but just managed to reach upto  her, as she took her wallet which  she forgot in the cab and started moving ahead with her friend. I was completely out of breath and did something that no girl would ever like, I put my hand on her shoulder from behind and said, 'I love You'. Alma, in an exhausted voice, she turned back to see who touched her. The stunning and shocking look of her, when she saw me was very difficult for me to handle. I realized something wrong. She rammed me with a non-shockproof slap. My ear-drums vibrated with a 'Tingggg...' sound for few seconds, I could not hear anything due to the sound created by the slap, but she was saying something, which I could only guess from her lip movements . After few seconds, I was catapulted back into reality and I heard her saying '...Loafer, Never again try this.' and she left the place along with her friend. I again thoroughly understood the dual concept of Sir Isaac Newton’s law of force, F=ma(Force=mass*acceleration) and Women Empowerment!!.  I did not wonder further from where she got so much force. I thanked myself for not shaving for past 12 days and those ¼ inch grown beard, which helped in reducing the impact.
  I left her alone for that moment, she and her friend vanished in the crowd near the station. I boarded the train back home, the whole journey I was thinking, have I done something wrong. I was quizzed throughout the journey, I felt bad for my behavior, it was just so many things happened in just 2 days. I should have waited for right opportunity, I should given some time to myself and more importantly, her. I felt I have been bit harsh on her. You should not grab whatever you like, there are moderate ways, and there are ways of approaching. Whatever I did I felt ashamed of myself. How inhuman I was. The girl whom I liked so much how can I behave with her like this, ofcourse if someone else would have done this with her even I would have thrashed his nose. But why did I became so desperate to take such step? I am in love with her, or is it infatuation? or is it lust?,..no no the word lust appalled my thought process, surely it’s not lust.

  The cardinal sin that I did not allow me to sleep the whole night. I was thinking what image I made of myself in front of her, simply ditzy. The judge within me was still ranting on about the unfairness act of mine. What should I do to rectify myself? I don’t want to lose her under any circumstance. I am sure even professor Gyarah would not like if I lose her after missing so many of his lectures.

   The only panacea I thought was to say sorry to her for all what I did and forget her forever, well I don’t want forget her, but it’s the only way I thought was to punish myself for doing a stupid act. Yes, tomorrow morning, I will tip-toe myself, bow before her and say sorry to her at the same place where I saw her first, the same Chuchgate  Station and this time I will not allow my brain to sing any song when I see her. I practiced several times my short and svelte lines in front of the mirror, so that my brain should not act anything weird this time. I was quite confident after a few repetitions of lines that I would be delivering in front of her. This confidence that I gathered after practice pacified my mind a bit and allowed to sleep at 4:00 AM in the morning.

  Next morning, I was ready with my sorry script. I went half-an-hour early to station to get the feel of the surrounding and more importantly rehearse my act. Passengers arriving and departing, jostled my intention and asked me to not to take it so seriously as I was taking it, take it as forgotten chapter, but my conscience didn’t allow me to return but to stay, wait, say sorry, forget her forever and move ahead in life. Its 8:30 AM, a big losing day for me as I will be losing her forever, but this is the way I should punish myself and probably this is what fortune had in its womb. The train came, I placed myself exactly in front of the ladies compartment in which my Alma travels. My heart-beats increased. The fear of how her reaction would be after my today's act brought sweat on my forehead and palms. I made myself ready. Passengers alighted.  The whole compartment was empty, but I couldn’t see her. I sneaked through the door to see if she was inside. She was not there. I ran to the other side of door, through subordinate gent’s compartment, she was not there. I checked to certain distance to see if my eyes missed to check her. Vain, complete vain!!

  Her absence jolted my inner-conscience. Is she absent because of yesterday's foolish act? Has she met with an accident on her way back home yesterday? Has she informed her parents and now they don’t want to send her to college? These baseless questions pecked my brain and made me feel more culprit. I waited at the station for next 2 hours to see whether she was travelling by later train. No she did not turn-up that day. Later I realized it was a Sunday and holiday for all colleges. Again I prepared myself for next day, the Monday morning day. But I was determined to confess.

   Suddenly I felt as if the announcer was again playing a song, "Tu mere samne main tere samne, tujhko dekhu ke pyar karu..." for me in whole Churchgate Station. I looked around to neglect the song  and turned my yes back to the just arrived Andheri-Churchgate trains ladies compartment. As the passengers were departing, a strong shiver went through my body, the escapist fantasy as quoted by Sir J.R.R. Tolkien, was asking me to run away from the sight and I saw Alma draped fantastically in red saree and golden blouse, matching sandals. The carbon in her eyes...Ohh!! Girl, don’t do this with me please, don’t make me change my mind, I have practiced a lot. Her looks stunned me again, I forgot what I practiced, my feet got welded where I was. After seeing her my prepaid guts escaped in air like vaporization effect.  But why saree today?

4 comments:

  1. U were a science student.. :)
    Good 1

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks SSS for appreciating the content.
    Please read further for remaining part of the story in next release.
    ~Sanjay Nikalje

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very good Sanjay.keep it up and waiting for next release.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks a lot Sangeeta Ma'am for reading and waiting for next release!! Next release would be surely soon.
    ~Sanjay Nikalje

    ReplyDelete

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