Sanjay Nikalje|Blog

So called search end’s...

My head got dipped in cloud of questions, I gave concession to my brain not to think further on it and again I followed her like a fool and forgot why I was waiting for her and what I prepared last night.

Finally reached exactly there where I thought, The Jai Hind College, because it is said that Mumbai’s all beautiful gals study here. It was 'Saree Day' at Jai-Hind. I found many girls draped in sarees, but she was different. I felt everything was colorless except her. She passed the entrance gate and went inside. I missed my lecture even today and waited at the main gate till she came out. After lecture hours while leaving she saw me at main gate, her face turned red. I did not say a word, just stood there with my bowed head. I continued this process of standing at entrance gate in morning and evening for next 12 days. I never raised my head up even for a single day. Felt lack of guts. On thirteenth day, she came out of college, and she saw me, today she lowered her walking speed as she came more and more near to me. Finally she came and halted at a distance 2 feet way from me. Well my head was still down, but I could easily sense that it was my Alma.

Before I could say anything, she said “Why are you following me? And she continued, what do you think girls can't sense who is following them? People like you are good for nothing, surely you must be a repeater, a smoker. Found more outside the college than in lectures…... She continued breathlessly, I wanted to interrupt her on every line like a grammar nazis seethe. But before I could say anything she went away. How can I explain her, what I am and what she is thinking of me as, the image she has created of me in her mind? I just wanted to say sorry to her and move ahead in life, but she didn’t even provide me that opportunity, well I feel that’s the punishment I should have got. I deserved. I got it!!

I left the place, I never tried to see her again on that 8:30 AM Andheri-Churchgate train. Never I gave a second chance, a second attempt to stand at her college gate to speak to her to justify myself. Gave a full-stop to my never started love story.

It’s the month of March, my exams are about to start by 28 March. I have few days in hand to prepare. These are the days where even dumbest of the student becomes Aristotle follower. I need to prepare hard. I missed many valuable lectures.

10 March 1997, Saturday, I got a call on my residence landline from my friend biggie(Madhusoothanan Mulaichiyami Satyaswamy PN), the name my classmate earned because of his big name, God knows whether the PN in his name stand for pin-code of his native place? He said his sisters friend wanted to submit a report on ‘Groundwater Percolation System Through Vadose Zone’ . Only two college’s in Mumbai offer Geology in their study course, one has the provision to swap this subject with biology. Biggie knew I was a Geology student, and had created a similar report a year back on ground water level and he suggested my name to his sister’s friend without taking my permission. Biggie asked me just to guide her and share my journal with her, that’s it. I could not say no to my evening tea sponsor in college. He said she will call me to discuss on this.

I got a call next morning, a Sunday. She said ‘Hello…’ with a mild pause in her voice. I felt I heard this sweet melodious voice somewhere, I got a bit nostalgic. I felt as if someone clicked a refresh button on my nervous system and she continued by giving Madhu’s(biggie’s) reference. I said, yes he informed me about the project requirement. I assured her of helping her in completing her project and asked her to call in evening. I had no option but to help her as my friend gave a word to her. I researched a lot on this project and referred the journal made by me. She called me in the evening again on an update. I said I will provide her my journal through my friend’s sister for reference and also some recent research done by me on that topic. She said okay. I did not ask her, her name, I felt it was not required.

She called me back the next evening with multifold questions. I answered each question properly and asked her to do a research on next topic in project, so that we can discuss it the next day. We spoke for some eight days in this manner on the project requirement and her out-of-the-box dumbo questions. One day I asked her not to call me for two days, as I wanted to finish my practical preparation. She said okay. She did not call me that one day, but called me the very next day. I asked her was there any serious issue for calling, as we decided that she won’t call for two days. She said, she just felt like talking to me. I kept on asking her about the project, but she didn’t speak a word on water percolation and she kept the phone. I didn’t understand why she called. She called me twice that day.

Next day again she called me, I wanted to explained her about the Vadose Zone and I started that a 'The Vadose Zone, also termed the unsaturated zone, is the part of Earth between the land surface and the top of the phreatic zone….' she interrupted me in between and said, can we meet? I was bemused; I said it can be explained over phone also. She said lets meet-up as it would help in understanding more nicely. I was short of time, as I had to prepare for my exams also, I said we will meet sometime later. My heart was badly bruised with a recent failure in a relation and never wanted to recreate the scenario, as love happens only once in a lifetime and what happens after that is just adjustment!!

Actually even I used to wait at exactly 8:00 PM near the phone. It was true that even I used to like her voice, her talks, but I never wanted to proceed and never wanted to meet anyone. Next day she called me, according to me it could be the last call, as that was the last part of the project, but before I could start she said, she would like to thank me and also listen to me further, only if I promise to meet her for a coffee. She asked me can you tell me your name atleast today? I said, Varun. I felt smiling pause from her side. She said can we meet at Café Coffee Day near Jai Hind College? A question ran in my mind why CCD near Jai-Hind?

Sanjay Nikalje|Blog

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