Sanjay Nikalje|Blog: Tasveer: Lisa Ray

Tasveer: Lisa Ray....!

21 February 1996, Darbhanga, Bihar, Hindustan Times: ‘The country is becoming worst than before, politics I say....’ my father said, paused kept the news-paper in anger on the table and went away. I don’t like newspapers, I don’t like politics. But what was the news which made him so restless, so casually went to have a nag of it. ‘Supreme beauty’, I said. ‘What ...?’ my mother standing a few feet away from me uttered. ‘Nothing’ I said and took the newspaper with me. The unknown artist in me immediately catapulted the Lakme advertisement photo into a ‘Tasveer’ in my brain, I was too eager to convert and portray my imagination into a frame. I cut the photo and made a cardboard artistic frame and hanged that in our hall. My younger sister Sharda, started laughing at my insane crazy act and went, and within no time, got my mother with her, sheer complaint-box.

‘What is this Raman? Who is she?’ my mother asked me. I said ‘I don’t know. ’ ‘Oh God, this boy is good for nothing, now Papa will shout, you cut today’s newspaper. If you can’t do good, at least don’t destroy....’ she kept on going for another 2 minutes. ‘ Yes, who was she?’, I went near my latestly handmade frame, couldn’t find anything. I gushed back to the cut newspaper and found the name ‘Lisa Ray’.

The frame was hanging on the wall for another two days and on the third day, I Mom, removed the frame and threw it away near the dustbin, to avoid my brain getting further corrupted with such things. I got the frame back from the dustbin and put it in my study room. I was imagining how one can be so beautiful, I felt as if I have never seen anyone so beautiful till now. I just wanted to see her personally.

My Sister Sharda, again started teasing me after seeing that frame in my study room. I was in class-9, a forcibly promoted student of Darbhanga Municipal School of Bihar at that time. My sister said, do you know where she is and where you are. She is so beautiful and you are a mere 35% passing student, other than surname Vidyarthi, there is nothing studious in you, and she started laughing. This agitated me to study hard. I didn’t even knew how to study, because I never did it earlier. I just mugged up everything including Mathematics. I scored some 88% and stood second in class, everyone was amazed by my performance in academics. But I was not happy as it didn’t create any difference in me or allow me to see Lisa Ray personally.

On DD-2, I again saw her in music-video, called ‘Afreen-Afreen, husn jana ki tareef mumkin nahi...’. Every day I used to wait glued-sticked for the program to come and see the song. Someone told me all these film-stars stay in Mumbai. Enough was enough, I just want to see her once. Some want to see Amitabh Bachchan, someone Shahrukh Khan but I want to see her. I was in class-10 now, without thinking much I grabbed some clothes, money and moved towards the station. Took ‘13:10 Jaynagar Lokmanyatilak Express’ that too without a ticket.

The TC caught me in the next 80 KMs, slapped me tight for traveling without a ticket, and asked me to get down at the next station, Muzaffarpur Junction. I didn’t give-up. I forgot how worried my parents must be, what they must be thinking, where they must be searching for me.

I took another train at ‘17:40 Darbhanga Lokmanyatilak Express’, yes this too without a ticket. I was saving the ticket money to be used in Mumbai. After 33 hours of journey in train washroom with that dirty smell, I landed in the land of dreams, land of film-stars, and the land of hope Lokmanya Tilak Terminus, Mumbai.

I came out of the station, but where to go after this, was my next question to myself. I asked a taxi-driver, ‘Where does Lisa Ray stay? He smiled at me and said, ‘one more mad person landed, welcome. This place was missing you’ and he drove away. I asked a peanut seller, he didn’t even knew about whom I was asking, he said ‘Do you have the address?’ I said ‘No’. ‘Then it is next to impossible to search someone in Mumbai without address.’

I was feeling hungry, took a vadapav, and managed that evening. I spent two nights on Bandra Railway station bench. The third night I felt some movement in my back pocket. And I found that someone removed my wallet and ran away. I chased that person with full might and caught him, even he was not in good condition. Before I could do anything he gave me my wallet back. I asked him, ‘You ate something?’ he said ‘No’. I gave him the biscuits I had. I am Arif Sultan. He asked me ‘ Why are you sleeping here? You don’t have a house?’. I recited the Darbhanga to Mumbai, story, Arif said come with me. He took me to a place called ‘Dharavi’, so small and tight pavements to walk, so many people, I have never seen so many people together even in my village yearly fest. He took me to a small room, 5 more people were staying in that messy-smelly house. I remembered my village big lavish house and I started crying, Arif and others consoled me, he said, he has a friend who works as spot-boy in Filmistan Studio.

The next day, I went along with Arif to meet his friend Vaibhav Kanhere. Vaibhav said thousands of people like me come to Mumbai with dreams of doing big, to become filmstars, to meet filmstars, etc. Only a handful of those thousands are able to achieve their dreams, better would be you return back or to struggle.

I decided to struggle and achieve my simple dream to see Lisa Ray. A week after Vaibhav, met me again and said there is another spot-boy opportunity in Filmistan Studio and whether I would be interested. By working there, you will earn money also and your chances to see your filmstar will also increase because many film-fraternity people come to the studio for shooting. I joined the job. Even after seven months, I was not successful in getting a glimpse of Lisa Ray. With everyday , passing, I remembered by parents and my sister and decided to return to Darbhanga.

After returning back to my village, I was fearful that my father would kill me. But, when I reached home, I found that my father is no more. My mother cried a lot and started asking where I was and how am I. My sister Sharda said, ‘Bhaiyya don’t go again, I will not tease you.’ My glorified house was no more glorified due to the loss of earning member and my absence. The only thing I could think of was, to get its glory back. And the only way was further education and a proper job.

It was difficult to manage studies along with a small part-time job in a dispensary. Somehow with that dwarf salary, I managed mine and Sharda’s studies along with home expenses. I completed my graduation, but no luck to get a better job. Someone suggested a temporary job in, ‘Bihar State Power Holding Company Ltd[BSPHCL]’. Something is better than nothing, I grabbed the opportunity that knocked me. BSPHCL said based on my performance they can make me permanent after completing the probation period of one year.

In just four months of service, my mother was behind me to marry her relative Mansukh Shahda’s daughter Laxmi. The emotional blackmail and day-night torture from my mother, couldn’t stop me on agreeing to see the girl. I, Sharda and my mother went to see the girl. The girl came in yellow saree with a huge ghunghat in front of her face. I could barely see her. But whatever glimpse I got, I was not really happy seeing the girl, typical village girl, I couldn’t say ‘NO’, because it seems, my father committed my marriage when I was young to the girl’s father. ‘Dharam-Sankat’, ‘No-U-Turn’. I had to agree, to keep my father's soul happy, he died because of me, to escape my culprit mind I said yes to marriage.

I got married to Laxmi in the next few months and started considering myself as one of the most unhappy man on earth, who was not even asked about his likes and dislikes in his own marriage. I promised that my wretched heart will never forgive this girl. I was always searching for Lisa Ray in her. I didn’t find her eyes as attractive as Lisa. I didn’t find any qualities of Lisa in Laxmi. It was a miserable married life, a forced married-life. Even Laxmi realized in just a few days that she was the most hated person by me. I didn’t speak to her even after three months of my marriage. If I needed anything I would ask my sister to get it for me. I never ate food prepared by her, never wore clothes washed by her. That was my way of releasing my vexation on Laxmi.

One day Laxmi gathered her wits and asked me ‘I know you don’t like me, but please let me stay here because if I return to my father’s house, my father will die due to neighbours talks about me.’ I remembered my father when she uttered the word ‘father’. My mother asked me hundreds of times, regarding my issue with her, I never answered but always left the place in silence. This continued for the next seven months. In these seven months, my mother became her mother. The only thing I was doing was going to work, eat, and sleep. I was just one month near my probation period completion and then I would become permanent in my job. This was the only satisfying thing in my life and was bringing a lot of pride in me.

The Climax...

One day there was a power outage in a Ghamoli village and my superior asked me to check the issue. I found there was a problem with the current supply in one of the pole. I climbed up the pole and resolved the issue by replacing the old cut-out, but slipped while getting down and fell from a 25-feet height, unbalanced on my right leg. I heard a cracking sound.

After hospitalization, the x-ray report suggested multiple fractures in my right leg. Doctor asked me to have complete bed rest of 3 months. Even after three months, the doctor found that I still need further 2 months rest, all the fractures are not completely healed. I was working on a temporary basis in BSPHCL, they couldn’t pay me further being at home and I lost the job.

I was the only source of income. It became difficult managing even daily expenses. My pride collapsed like an empty castle. Class-7 pass, Laxmi took up an Aganwadi job in a local small school, with a mere salary of 1200 Rs per month. With her job she also took very good care me, timely food, medicines, helping me walk morning and evening. I remembered when I was having a job I never gave any heed to her, but today though she has a job, but she is not at all ignorant towards me, rather she is taking ultimate care of me. As days passed I started liking her multi-committed attitude of looking after a job, me, household chores, my mother, and Sharda. Laxmi did all this without uttering a single complaint but with a bright smile. I started finding her eyes very attractive as if a painter could sketch using the charcoal of her eyes,. I found her smile like a blossom of morning sunshine. I found her voice like someone playing soothing Veena. Slowly the perpetual tasveer of Lisa Ray nailed at the back of my mind replaced with my real-life Lisa Ray, my Laxmi...my Afreen!!

Today, my plaster would be removed. I wanted to say all that I was feeling about Laxmi nowadays. ‘Laxmi.....Laxmi’, I called her two times, but I didn’t get a reply. So I somehow managed myself and went inside the house to see her. I couldn’t find her. I went to the kitchen, I couldn’t find her. I walked down the jitty using my clutches, naah, not there too. Tired, I asked my mother about her whereabouts. She didn’t answer, but her facial reaction was showing some hints. I asked my mother again ‘Where is Laxmi?’ She said she went back to her father's house. Now please don’t go to get her back. ‘What?’ ‘But why?’

Son, every woman expects that her husband should love her ‘unconditionally’. You never liked her. But when you lost your job, when she took the responsibility of the house, when she gave her salary to you, when she took more efforts on you, when she took care of everyone in the house, then you started realizing your love for her. This is not true love but conditional. Marriage is not a give and take relationship. Marriage should not be conditional, marriages are for a purpose, a purpose to be together and flourish.....

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Love...across the Fence!!

Sanjay Nikalje|Blog

Sunday, June 7, 2020

Tasveer: Lisa Ray

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